In the two decades I’ve worked with men, few have understood that self-worth and net-worth are not connected. The majority feel they are one in the same though, and the word feel, is important. A man who feels, not just thinks that she is a failure because he has never achieved financial success, feels that failure deep down in his male mind, his male soul. That leaves men feeling depressed and frustrated. Most men won’t achieve stellar financial success, and sadly, most will feel they’ve failed as men. Walking through life feeling like a failure based entirely on net-worth is great to me. It ought to be great to every man.
Unless a man can distinguish between his self-worth and net-worth, his life will be wasted feeling sorry for himself and everyone around him who he feels he’s made suffer because of his lack of financial success. A man who buys into the notion that self-worth is all about net-worth has bought into the worst possible lie about men. He’s allowed people who have nothing regarding his life to define the character and quality of his male member.
Men frequently forget the real qualities define self-worth. A husband who is considerate of his wife’s hopes and dreams and who supports her efforts to achieve them deserves a confident sense of self-worth. Money isn’t involved in being a ladies cheerleader. Love and spirit have no financial basis. Ask any woman other than a Kardashian or Paris, france Hilton, what qualities are most important in a man.
A man who is thoroughly involved in raising his children, coaches their teams, goes to games, attends parent-teacher meetings, and teaches them good values, deserves to enjoy a strong sense of self-worth. Sure, his children might like lots of stuff that kids are inundated with, but in the end, it’s the love and attention a man gives his children that matter, not how much stuff he can afford. Can’t afford to take your kids to Disneyland? Take them camping instead and teach them about the real, natural world. It’s about quality time, and it will give you the opportunity to plug with your kids far better than waiting in line for a ride that’s over in a few minutes. How Much Michael Blakey Worth
A man who volunteers for community service, helping less fortunate folks is a man who should feel good about his self-worth. Teaching individuals to read, tutoring disadvantaged children, helping with a community project, visiting elderly folks, getting work done in a food bank, and a myriad of other pursuits, all define a man. None involve his capacity to write a check.
A man who nurtures friendships with other men and who appreciates the value of authentic friendship is a man whoever self-worth isn’t in question. A man who can be there for a friend in trouble, or support a man whoever life is upside down, is a man whoever self-worth is in one piece.
There are several other ways a man can define his self-worth, but until most respond to the self-worth/net-worth paradigm in terms other than their checkbooks, net-worth will remain the defining factor. That’s entirely unacceptable to me, and should be to every man. I won’t give anyone the ability to define my self-worth, and I won’t feel I’ve done my part in the ongoing male member debate until every man feels the same.
Men should never allow anyone to define them in a manner that ignores who and what they are as men. Donald Trump has lots of money, but I doubt most women would find him a man they would like to be thoroughly involved with. Beyond his inherited money, his net-worth, there’s little to get him as a man. A rich, loud-mouthed, fat guy with a bad clean over and an filled with air ego is a man who knows his self-worth is entirely established by his net-worth. Ego never determines self-worth. Acting like a man does.
Men who work hard in their everyday lives to be good husbands, daddies, friends, and community volunteers have their self-worth in balance with their male member. Their spouse, children, and friends honor them for the manner they choose to live, not for their purses. They will never be featured on the covers of magazines, but real men know that money isn’t the foundation for defining their self-worth or male member. Self-worth is dependent upon finding out how to behave like a man, and women who wish to be with a good man, understand that.